Oh Here We Go .
(soliloquy004.htm)

People peers you reading this the fans of yours truly please believe me and listen to this declaration of mine of my own unknown intentions when I tell you shout at you aware you let you know about this trivial little factoid central to my daily-living for the time being

MY LIFE IS SO MESSED UP RIGHT NOW !!

No Ford to fire up
and no lady to fffffff ¹ (oh you wait for that footnote you. . . )
eeeeee the detachment from all that I lived for on Saturday nights in barroom doorways with musty Marlboro smoke silently sifting arising and drifting through the dry cigarette air evaporating into malignant nothingness along eightball poolcues dissolving like my separation from capital city streets and redlights no now Stop and green so Go with highway markers trailing on and on and on to distances framed from fading faint memories reminding me of the aforementioned moments in time never to be seen again and only recalled through shards of reminiscence

God I need something else something just not this here because what we have at hand yeah this right now it isn't doing it for me not cooperating in the least no no not for what I need in my day requiring an innovative variable at this second demanding a fresh vim of vibrant vivacity now begging you please Lord please grant me sacred solace with carkeys jingling and clicking into idle ignitions sparking solenoids starting starter engines with cylinders cycling and DOHC pistons revving to peak redline arr-pee-ems

not disgraceful filth posted here offending powerful parents and shocking social counterparts beforehand of my not knowing enough to cut the slimy nonsense of smiling a shiny grin with those sparkling white teeth glimmering so glossy gleaming steeply luminous with blinding bright light and my understanding that jaws are dropping with all of your attention on me the self-touted "man" ;
unearthing this exciting propensity for interior ecstasy with our serotonin synapses pumping and strumming heartstrings flowing through aortas all the while humming a humble hum of subterranean depth ;
within the margins of a tumultuous wavelength lingering at atmospheric peaks and shimmying beneath the most humble lows whilst along the lines of precious relationships—wait no no no with most MOST MOST associations to my acquaintances who read my bragging and may very well roll their eyes thinking "Oh yeah okay buddy sure whatever you say pal right-right-right. . . " ;
after damaging valuable dealings with many friends through overconfidence running rampant and flexing a colossal bicep saying "Oh who's the weak one now you pussies you ?? " saying –no proclaiming "Look at you and look at me. . . " ;
and with my swathing in the excessive pride of being so strong embodying a powerful body potentially blasting on whoever provokes me just a tad bit too much whenever and wherever I go—albeit after having laid in a hospital bed while wed to a stomach tube or being confined
to –literally locked in to a wheelchair with no authorization to stand up on my own two legs for those three-and-a-half months away from home—now knowing I can kick so many asses when I'll likely never-ever not even ever once even ever need to test that conviction while I'm
here.

What I'm doing must end
It's not working
For the second time I've crashed !!

Most of what you've read here by now has been the product of my traumatic brain avalanche and its physiotherapy with me myself in my own life of Jeffrey Marquis who's felt maybe a little too commanding for all of the wrong reasons and taking clips out of the big picture to make others feel inept with what wonderous wonders of what I do well. And I've attached shock-value to something in my own name speaking from my spirited soul coming through my crazed cranium available for anyone and everyone to embrace from the comfort of his or her or their own home sweet home with my click click click love of elegant language budding yet leaving me unsure of where to go next with this whimsical wording and taking it with me forever wherever I go in this life I love

I apologize to those who I've offended. Sorry sorry and sorry. The repentant and remorseful remarks expressed here are not merely pithy poppycock public statements but something else I assure you emanating from the protracted reflection upon previous judgment and withdrawn verdicts derived through meditation deliberation and notion

I've renounced my principle of judging so many after gaining a better understanding of our social society and cultural civilization. Go buy Brand Names separate from your body with bubbling and bouncing ladies smiling as you pay the cashier for your paid purchases

There You Go

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¹ : lock lips with